February 17, 1998

To the Parents of the Wolf Cubs of Pack 345:

It is with both anger and sadness that I must inform you that I will no longer be permitted to be the den leader for your sons. I am writing this letter to inform you of the real reason, leaving it up to each of you to determine what you will tell your son.

I received a call early this afternoon from Jeff Morris of the Boy Scout office. He informed me that he was sending me a letter revoking my membership in the Boy Scouts of America. According to Mr. Morris, someone had sent the Boy Scouts the address of my home page on the internet. (Due to the ability of anyone in the world to view this homepage, it is not necessary that this person is from this pack or even this area. What is certain is that this person is a close-minded bigot.) On that home page, I detailed my involvement with the Cub Scouts, as a certified Braille transcriber, as a school volunteer and as a former volunteer at a shelter for victims of domestic violence. I also discussed the issue of domestic violence and offered tips for victims on how to form an escape plan, how to get the best police reaction, tips on courtroom behavior and a list of resources for victims of DV. I went on to describe my involvement with prisoner correspondence and supplied a page to help beginners get around some of the chat rooms a little easier. I discussed my spiritual beliefs and how I came to find a very close, personal relationship with the Divine Creator. But none of that upset whomever it was that viewed my pages. What upset them was the page where I discussed how I came to the realization and acceptance of my bisexuality. Apparently, anyone who is not heterosexual is forbidden from being a member of the Boys Scouts of America and such discrimination has been upheld in the courts because BSA is a private organization. I have no legal recourse against such blatant discrimination and violation of my civil rights.

While I feel that what I am about to say is something I should not have to say, I realize that this may be your first contact (at least knowing contact) with someone who is not heterosexual. I know at one point in time I feared those who were not heterosexual and unfortunately, such fear is still all too common. Therefore, let me assure you that the topic of my orientation never came up because I did not allow it to. It is inappropriate for such a personal issue to be discussed with a group of 7-year-old boys who are not my children. To do so would have been a breach of your trust and a breach of my authority as a den leader to your boys. My own children are aware of my orientation and, when I told them what had happened today, they both said basically the same thing: "Boy, that's stupid." I was very proud of both of them for that reaction.

There is a lot of misconception about bisexuality and for anyone who would like to understand what it means to me, I invite you to visit my home page or ask me to send you a copy of the page in question. I will gladly do so. I am also willing to discuss this issue with you IF your purpose is to educate yourself as to what bisexuality is or to discuss the discrimination that is associated with being a member of any minority. I will NOT debate the morality of the issue since morality is based on your religious beliefs and we are all free to follow the spirituality of our choosing.

There may also be those who feel I have lied to them because I did not reveal my orientation. To those who may feel this way, I simply ask, "Do you introduce yourself by saying, 'Hi, I'm______. I'm heterosexual.'?" If not, why should I have to do that? That is a personal issue that has no place in initial introductions and the fact that I have been involved with this pack since January of 1995 and it is only now being revealed is, I feel, a testament to my insistence on keeping my personal life separate from my duties as a Cub Scout den leader. In anticipation of the question, "If it's so personal, why put it on the web?", I reply as follows. Discovering and accepting my orientation was a very difficult and painful experience. Whether or not you feel it is morally right, the fact of the matter is that there will be others out there struggling with the same issues I dealt with. I even state on my page that the purpose of posting it was an attempt to help others who may be facing similar struggles to come to some peace of mind and self-acceptance. I'm not out to "convert" someone because I don't believe such conversion is possible. This letter is not even meant to be a way of "converting" you should you find my orientation morally reprehensible. It is simply an attempt on my part to explain why I am being forced out of Cub Scouts as well as an attempt to allay any fears you might have for your childrens' well being. I am still the same person I was before you started reading this letter, you just know something more about me than you did before. Something no more relevant to my ability to lead a den than my weight or my father's name.

With Love and Light,